Taking the Long Way Around: Meet the Mabonas

Our home until March 25th:

We have moved in with our host family in Bhundu: the Mabona family. It is a large and fluid family so I thought I would start by giving you a rundown of the members.

Annah: Our Gogo (grandmother) is the matriarch of the family. She was a domestic worker in Pretoria for some 30 years and is now receiving a pension. She is constantly concerned with our happiness – asking, “you stay nice here?” Uhlala mnandi lapha? She is very proud of her culture and her family and her family loves her very much. She is the mother of five children.

Identities here are often found in the role you play within your family, so much so that one’s behavior and dress changes as a person takes on a new role. Gogos are often found sitting on their mats with their shawls or blankets pinned around their shoulders (even though it is already unbearably hot). Gogos will help with cooking and cleaning when they want, but it is not their main responsibility once they have children old enough to do such things. Annah meets all these criteria as much of our interactions with her take place in the shade on a matt and I have rarely seen her cook or do laundry – those tasks fall to the other members of the family who share the home with us.

Maria: Our sister (one of three, but the only one that lives in Bhundu full time) is 31 and the mother of 2 girls, Simpewe and Fundela. She is the main driving force in the family and is the primary guardian of the six children that live with us because the mothers of the other four children work in Pretoria full time. She is currently in a relationship with the father of her second child although he lives in a different village and so is rarely seen. He is supposedly trying to collect the labola (bride price), which her parents require. Maria stated that the price set is too high. Maria is a lot of fun to be around and is always teaching us new things. In addition to making sure the children are ready for school and deciding upon what will be cooked for dinner, she is often found fully engaged in the games often played in our yard. These games are not card games but range from soccer to crazy keep-away with the 20 to 30 kids that are constantly around.

Kleinboy: Our baba (grandfather) has been working at a hotel in Pretoria fir more than 40 years. He is hoping to retire this year. When he comes home on the weekends, even though he is tired, he pays individual attention to all the children and engages with his wife. He works very hard and is proud of his family and what he has accomplished. Although Derek and I do not know him well, I can honestly say he is a good man with a kind spirit.

Jane: She is Maria’s older sister and the mother of two boys (Percy and Leseugo). She is unmarried. So far we have only met her once as she works in Pretoria as a seamstress. Jane is very hip with coordinated jumpsuits and done-up hair and even a gold tooth. She is quiet, but very friendly.

Nomsa: She is the youngest of Annah’s children and the mother of Nothantha and Cezwe. She also works in Pretoria as a seamstress, but wishes she was able to stay in Bhundu all the time. Nomsa has a sweet face and a sweet personality. Her English is great and I loved her dresses.

Percy: He is 16 years old and very sharp. He loves electronics and switches between wanting to be a lawyer or a social worker. Percy is always interacting with the other children even though they are all significantly younger than he is. He loves children. I think he is very handsome and funny. A couple years ago he had a minor stroke, but the lasting damages are only apparent after you get to know him. He is amazed at Derek’s drawing skills.

Simpewe: She is 12 and the queen bee around the house. Very saucy. The kitchen is her domain and she loves to be busy – always acting like a little home-maker. She is petite and very pretty and also very clever, so, although she will make a great wife and mother, I hope she realizes there are many things she can do with her life. Recently she told me that she does not want to have children until she is very old (not sure what very old means – I might be very old to her) so she can go to school and do other things too. Teenage pregnancy and under-educated females are one of the problems plaguing rural areas of South Africa.

Nonthanda: She is also 12 and although she is not as motivated as Simpewe, she is much more kind, loving and easy to be around. She is a little chubby and everyone is fond of saying that she likes to eat too much. She will even say it herself. When she broke her arm (for the 3^rd time in 2 years!!!!!) a couple weeks ago and I was so very worried about her, she looked at me as she cradled her damaged limb and said “please don’t worry about me Melissa, I’ll be fine. Be happy.” She is so sweet. She is also very smart. I worry that she does not realize how smart she is.

Cezwe: He is 9 (or maybe 8 – it is hard to get a straight answer on his age for some reason) and is the only child currently attending private school. I think this is because he father pays for it. He is a big trouble maker and very active. Annah said to me shortly after we arrived, “if you hear me beating Cezwe, don’t worry. He goes to private school and is a problem.” Ha! I have never seen him get beaten but I have seen him worried about the possibility. This boy talks so much and is quite the story teller. He is funny and maybe a little crazy, but he has the best smile ever. Simpewe and he compete over who gets to brush my hair at night. If he lived in the states he would for sure be an exclusive hair stylist!

Leseugo: He is another one with a great smile and a mischievous air about him. He is nine, but will turn 10 before we leave him. He may be mischievous like Cezwe, but he is much quieter and rarely causes problems. On the contrary, he is much like Simpewe in that he is always busy being productive. The other day he came home from school and washed the dishes and then took the trash can out to the water faucet and started to deep clean it. I had not seen anyone tell him to do these things so when I asked if these were his chores Maria said, “No, Leseugo likes to be busy with good things.” What!!!! He is a nine year old boy. Also, one day he was gone for a bit and came back with some crazy looking contraption he had made from scrap metal. He claimed it was a bird trap and sure enough, after an hour or so up in a tree he had caught himself a bird. This boy will also catch flying bugs and patiently ties a string around them to make live kites. He is great!

Fundela: She is two and quite the diva. The whole house revolves around her and she is very aware of this fact. She has even decided not to respond to her given name, but to Smundi instead. I think she might be confused about her age because she often acts as those she is 22 instead of two. It is quite a funny thing to watch. For those of you who know Ireland and Caroline from Denver, Smundi is their South African equivalent. She is super cute and a bunch of fun. When she left for a week to go stay with her father’s family, I was devastated. She vacillates as to whom she likes better, Derek or me, and tells us and everyone else, who her chosen white person of the day is.

Pretoria: This may or may not be his real name. He is the second oldest of the five children (the oldest son lives elsewhere and we have not met him) and I affectionately call him “my drunk brother!” When he is in Bhundu he is constantly inebriated. CONSTANTLY. Or else he is sleeping. He works in New London as a plaster contractor and is supposedly very good at what he does. But, “he likes beer too much.” He is lazy and the entire family teases him about this, but he seems to not to care. When he is semi-lucid he expresses great concern regarding the children’s education and health, so he is not a bad guy. Just a drunk guy. Often he falls asleep outside and the children argue about who has to go fetch a blanket to cover him up with!!!!

So, that is our family. We love them very much and will be so sad to leave them come March 25^th.